I was gone for a wee bit. And since then, I've made massive changes in my life.
I've moved back to Anchorage.
And I am SO happy.
I lived in Seward for one and a half years. I loved being so close to the mountains, loved walking the beach in the summer twilight, loved running the trails.
But I didn't care much for the near constant rain (Seward averages 72 inches of rain a year, more than Juneau) nor the fact that the sun rarely appeared.
After my newspaper folded in September, I decided to stay in Seward and finish my second book.
And I was doing well, really. I was running and writing.
Then winter came, and the near-constant darkness.
I hurt my ankle and couldn't run for over two months.I slowly stopped working out. I found myself sititng on my butt and eating whole bags of pretzels while watching "Mad Men" DVDs.
I gained weight. I stopped writing. I stopped blogging.
The temps quickly dropped. The diesel stove broke, again, and the only two repairmen in town refused to work on it, deeming it unsafe.
I sat huddled around small electric space heaters. I had to wear mittens indoors. My cats were miserable. The dog shivered at night.
I know that most people talk happy-talk in their running blogs but I have to admit that I was really depressed. It got so bad that I'd take allergy medicine early in the evening so that I'd fall asleep sooner and the day would be done with. I went for almost two weeks without washing my hair. There were few job openings, and none for a writer with a Master's degree. I felt stuck; I didn't know how to get out.
Then I drove up to Anchorage for a weekend, came back to find the pipes frozen and my houseplants dead.
"This is no way to live," MM said.
I realized that he was right. I had been trying so hard to convince myself that I was happy living in a place where I wasn't happy that I had blinded myself to my own possibilities.
Eventually I packed up my stuff and moved back home (home!) to Anchorage.
It wasn't easy, of course. Change never is. There were tons of doubts, insecurities, sleepless nights, worries and stresses, and a lot of tears.
But I'm back. I'm losing my winter weight. I'm running. I'm writing. And it feels SO good to feel like myself again.
And oh, since this is a running blog, here are pics from yesterday's run on the Potter Trail along Turnagain Arm.
|Me and The Beebs at the two-mile mark viewpoint overlooking Turnagain Arm.|
|Someone decorates this spruce tree each year after Christmas. It always cheers me when I run past.|
|Sunset! I so missed seeing the sunset down in Seward, where the mountains obscured the views.|